As i'm sure you've all gathered thus far my relationship with Max and the girls was progressing very quickly! at 3.5 months we had now said I love you, were spending almost every night together at my apartment, and I was becoming a consistant part of his children's lives.
Since it was summer and we both had vacation time coming up, we decided why not take the kids home to meet my family? My family has a big house in the woods with lots of things to do and see! So he reached out to Ava to let her know our plans, she was less than thrilled and didn't want the kids to go.
Her exact words were "if you want to go with Zoe yourself go ahead, i'll keep the kids for you. I wont have you playing super parent to our kids in front of Zoe and family for show"
With that lovely response Max let her know that the kids were already aware we wanted to take them, and we're very excited about it, she could explain to the kids why they weren't allowed to go. I guess Ava didn't like that so she agreed to let them join us.
1.5 weeks before we were set to leave (my mother already buying groceries and prepping the house for us to visit) Ava and Max have a disagreement about drop off time for the girls..... I want you all to know that I try SO SO hard to be neutral, I love Max and I know that he's not perfect, with that said I also have his back as his partner. So these arguments with the two of them are rough to be involved in.
Per the court mandated parent agreement Max doesn't have to drop the children off on Sunday's until 8pm...Ava without filing to have it legally changed decided on her own the most appropriate time from drop off is now 6:30pm. Max said he would try and get them home earlier but he would not agree to a set time of 6:30 every week, we have different plans from week to week and 6:30 is not always doable.
Ava took that so well, she threatened to take us to court if we didn't give her what she wanted, and if we tried to take the kids on the vacation she already said yes to, she would call the police and have us arrested.
At this point Max had not consulted with an attorney and really didn't understand his rights as a dad with joint custody. We didn't know that she actually can't tell us no, as long as we tell her before we leave, provide her with an address where the kids will be, and have the children home to her at the time mandated in the parent plan, we can take the kids where ever we please.
BUT because we didn't know that we cancelled our entire trip...This devastated my mom who was so excited to meet the girls, and royally pissed me off. All I kept thinking was what kind of selfish person does that to her kids? You don't get your way so you cancel a trip they've been looking forward to and punish them?
This is when I started seeing what was happening with her and Max. He was keeping me shielded pretty well, not sharing with me the depth of how she speaks to him, threatens to take the kids from him, and insults him on a weekly basis.
I don't feel i'm a petty person, and most if not all the people in my life tell me that I'm thoughtful and kind, however, people that hurt Max, and my now bonus kids make me a new person entirely.
I had been wanting to ask Max about moving in together, and was hoping to do so a few months down the road....but thanks to Ava, we now had a long weekend and no plans. I asked Max and the kids to move in with me instead of trying to plan a new vacation.
I was surprised and happy to see that Max was on the same page, and had been thinking about it too. So he shot Ava a text letting her know he was moving, and would "have only one roommate" (insert laugh here) I did make him offer to Ava the opportunity to come over and see where the kids would be living, to make sure she knew it was clean and safe....she declined.
The girls now had their own room, we could stop coordinating schedules to see each other, and best of all no more driving back and fourth!
And just like that on move in day at 4 months of dating and 2 months into knowing the kids, they stopped calling me Miss Zoe, I'm now just Zoe.
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